Saturday, December 20, 2008

Catz Rool & Dogz Druul

Hullo humanz on the interwebz! Zis is the wonderful Gigi and know, the coolest catz ever. Mousse: Yo
Gigi: Wasssuuupppp!!

We iz here to share a Gigi and Mousse adventure. We livez a very special life yu know. She's uzually prettie cool, but today, our mean human took us to an awful place. She took out those pet carrierz thiz mornin and we knew somethin' was up.

Gigi: Hellz yeah I knew somthin was up! As soon as I finished breakfast and saw the human messin with that trap thing, I hightailed my bottom into the bedroom and hid under ze bed. Haha, human, come and get me now!
Mousse: How come you didn't tell me nuthin Geegs?!? I was just sittin there noshin' away and swoop! Human captured me! I tried to fight her and did my best to get away from that trap thing (I hatez it!). I clawed at the sidez, squirmed and wiggled, grabbed anything nearby, but she wonz. Sigh. At least I warned you! I waz crying and meowing somethin' awful to let you know to stay away!
Gigi: Haha, sucka! I was alreadyz hidden under the bed.
Mousse: I saw mama walking round. She was trying to figure a way to get the Geeg-meister out.
Gigi: I know, she came in the bedroom with a tubey thing and tried to push me out from under ze bed. She knowz nuthinz gonna lure me out of my safe spot! Poke, poke, but I just moved to the furzest corner where she couldn't get meez. Then when she finally got me out, when she walked around to pickz me up, I sneaky snuck back under. Ha! Gigi wins again! Nuthin can defeat meez!
Mousse: I just kept cryinz but human ignorez me. Sigh. LET ME OUT!!
Gigi: Ooh, mama bringing out ze big gunz! Hey! No fair movin ze whole bed! Ok, I sneaky cat! She won't see me moving cause I run like ninja. I hide behinz shelf thing and plant. Haha! You can't see me now! Oh no! She sees me! AUGH!! Ze plant is moving!! I CAUGHT, I CAUGHT!! Help me Mousse!!
Mousse: Drat, that human is sneaky too!
(the wreckage)
Gigi: Ok humanz, we in car now. You to pleeez stop that awful meowing? Pleez? We sorry!
Mousse: Uh oh, Geeg. I don't like zis place! Zis is dat place where they poke and prod us! I don't like it! I'm gonna hide in my cage here and maybe they won't see me.
Gigi - You dope, of course they're gonna see you. Oh no, they're moving my cage first!
Mousse - Haha, you shoulda done my trick!
Gigi - Nooooo, I don't wanna come outta my cage! Umm...ok, oh hello Doctor. What are you doing? Oh, ok, that doesn't hurt. I don't like it, but maybe if I go limp and curl into zis little ball, you won't do anything else....oh no! Not working! Why you lookin n my earz? Stop poking me pleeze. Oh no, my teeth are quite fine thank you, no need to check...uh, ok then. Augh, don clip my talons pleeze, they good for clawing stuff. Hey! No stick me with that thing! Ouch!! Sigh, zis doctor guy no listen to me. Oh yay, back in cage. PHEW! I iz safe.
Mousse: AUGH! Don wanna come out! NO! I gonna stay in here thank you very much. Umm, ok fine. I'm out, but I don likez it! Not one bit. AUGH! Whatz zat?!? A dogz? I don like it...make it go away! Ok, that's better. AUGH! Whatz zat?!? Annuther human! I don know him! I don like zis at all. Ok, mez had enuff of this. I GROWL at you like furoshush lion. GROWL...I am channeling my innur lion. Iz not working! You still poking me! Ok, on to the big guns. HISS! Still iz not working...what else can Iz do?
Gigi: (chuckling quietly in her carrier)
Mousse: Ok human, you ask for trouble, you iz gonna getz it. SWAT!! I gonna swack you with mean furoshush claws just like lionz do. Hey! You cut my claws! Swiping ability drastically diminished. Second times the charm...SWAT! Missed again! Zis human movez fast! Maybe he channel innur lion too. HEY what's that? Cats donnt wear leash! Zat for dogs! Oh yay, back in carrier again. Phew. I'm still a growlin' monster though. Dont chou dare take me out again! Growl....What's that stick thing you're poking at me? Hey! You just put that leash on me, I kinda like it...ok fine then, take it back. It wasn't my color anywayz.
(stupid humanz meowing in weird comez they talk so funney?)
Gigi: Thank goodness, back in car again. Hey Mousse! We're going home!
Mousse: (turning away) I don't wanna talk about it...
10 minutes later...
Carrier doors open into safe, warm home. Oooh, what's this? A surprise from daddy? For us? Oooh, its homemade! Look at these scratching placez and comfyness. Oh, you humanz too kind, too kind. I guess we can forgive youz...this time.
But youz betta sleepz with one eye open tonight....


Jamie said...

OMG that is the funniest thing I think I've ever read! I'm still laughing!! Poor lil kitties! ROTFLMAO

Krystalily said...

LOL! Nice!!

I told my kitty maybe Santa Cats will be nice to her this year and she looked at me like "Better be nice to me"

Maybe I should make one of those so she will see that Santa Cats was! She's been a good kitty, like yours.

Loved your story!!

Amiyrah said...

something is seriously wrong with you...


Emily said...

LOL! I can't believe you wrote out that entire story.

I'll be packing up my kitty for a 3-hour car ride to Mom's house on Tuesday. So not looking forward to it...

Precious said...

This and Amiyrah's comment has me ROFLMAO!

Your black cat looks like a miniature of mine!

frugalsuz said...

"something is seriously wrong with you..."

And we're just figuring this out now? :)

Lindsay said...

LMFAO you're hilarious!!! Can't believe you typed all that ;)

Shelly said...

Your Mousse looks like my Max! My Salem also hides under the bed when the carrier comes out. I love the cat tower. I need to see if DBF will build one for my kitties!