Dear Delightful Downstairs Dweller,
I would like to take this opportunity to thank you deeply for alerting me to perils of my loud-livin' ways. You are absolutely right. How dare I think it would be appropriate for me to invite my two sisters over on a Friday night and stay up to the ludicrous hour of 11:30 pm watching a movie? I agree, it was simply rude beyond belief of me to then put away my laundry at midnight. Afterall, its a Friday night! Everyone knows that Friday nights are to be spent in quiet meditation and reflection. And let's not forget about how much noise that darn'd laundry can make! Goodness, you were quite right to complain to me about it. And I cannot believe that I would have the audacity to actually walk around my apartment at that late hour. Afterall, its not like I pay to live there like you do. Thank goodness I didn't have the radio or tv on too!
And thank you for alerting me to your unfortunate work hours that require you to get up at 6 am. Obviously my Friday night antics would greatly disturb your ability to get up that early on Monday morning. And don't worry, it doesn't bother me one bit that I'm awakened early every morning when you open your garage door. I love that noise! From now on, when I arrive home late at night, I will plop myself down on my couch and use my go-go-gadget arms to reach everything in my apartment. Afterall, I'd hate to walk around and disturb your beauty sleep!
Here's an idea - maybe we should see if we could switch apartments that way you'd be on the top floor! Although, since you're obviously such a light sleeper, I would think that would have occured to you before you chose to live in a bottom apartment. Maybe there wasn't an option for a top floor available in any of the 50+ buildings in the complex. That must be it.
And I sincerely appreciate you trying to soften the blow of your complaints with an invitation to your self-described "quiet and tasteful" party. Since I'm in the middle of covering my apartment floors with pillows, I will unfortunately be far too busy to attend.
PS - GET A LIFE DUDE!!